The Great New Jersey Cart Debacle

I have never before seen a phenomenon quite so intriguing as this. And I saw the movie Phenomenon starring John Travolta.

There seems to be a state-wide pact that all New Jersey shoppers will never put their shopping carts back in the cart corral (I don't know what the word is...the thing where you put your cart! From henceforth, it shall be known as the cart corral), no matter how CLOSE their car is to said corral. I'm not sure if this is due to temporary blindness, extreme emergency situations that pop up just as they're finished putting groceries or goods into their cars, or just complete self-absorption and pure laziness.

My guess is the latter.

CASE STUDY A

The person who puts their cart IN BETWEEN the cars or right in front of their car so that it blocks the parking spot for all who may wish to park there in the future. What is the purpose of this? Not only do you risk damaging MANY OTHER PEOPLE'S VEHICLES, you risk damaging your own. Are you really SO LAZY that you feel you would rather have a scratched front bumper than walk 10 feet to put your cart back? The cart is empty, it's not like you're pushing a cart full of watermelons or baby elephants uphill in sweltering heat to return your cart.

CASE STUDY B

The person who pushes their cart up OVER THE CURB so that it's half on the parking lot and half on the grass/tree area that is supposed to make the parking lot look friendly. It looks as though people were drag-racing shopping carts and someone wrecked into the curb and was out for the count. This is both extremely weird and completely senseless. Really? You're going to make the effort to lift the front end of your cart up about six inches to set it on a curb, but you're unwilling to push it on LEVEL GROUND another five feet to put it where it belongs? It's not as if you have to push the cart through rings of fire to put it back.

CASE STUDY C

Though I have personally never seen this, fellow New Jersey-ians (?) have told me that this happens. The person who puts their cart DIRECTLY BEHIND the vehicle parked next to them. Now, the cart is a) in the way of other drivers driving through the parking lot and b) is keeping another person from exiting the parking lot. A person who MAY be conscientious enough to put their own cart away must now also dispose of yours? UNbelievable. Do you have a vendetta against the driver parked next to you? Are you really SO ENTITLED that you think another shopper should put your cart away? Do you think there's a cart fairy who comes along dealing with other people's carts? (Ok - wait - there is a cart fairy. He/she may not be an actual fairy but technically it is their job to retrieve carts and put them back in front of the store. But they're supposed to retrieve them FROM THE CART CORRAL.)

And finally, my favorite...

CASE STUDY D

The person who is parked RIGHT F-ING NEXT TO THE CART CORRAL WHO CAN'T PUT THEIR CART IN THE PROPER PLACE. I can't even go into detail. It's self-explanatory. And completely maddening. When I see this happen, a vein bursts in my skull. I have a seizure. I punch a baby. A baby who may grow up to become Case Study D. (Ok, no, I don't really punch a baby.)

In conclusion, I ask you - The State of New Jersey - to get your shit together and put your carts back where they belong. Save the rest of us burst-skull-veins, aggravation, and potential vehicle damage by becoming an ADULT and being responsible for YOUR OWN SHIT. The minute you push that cart into the store, it becomes your SOLE DUTY to put it back where you found it or in an equally acceptable depository, I.E. THE CART CORRAL.

UPDATE: PROOF

REALLY? Really. It's. Right. THERE.

I have to go, my eyes are bleeding.