When does this happen? Plenty of times. Dancing. Walking up stairs. Walking down stairs. Handling babies. But today, I'd like to focus on the times when you ALMOST drop something or actually drop it.
This is a Catch-22: You always look like an idiot.
If I ALMOST drop something, I usually end up doing some weird dance move that could be intentional but is most likely the result of poor coordination. For example, the other day I almost dropped my phone. I was carrying too many things and it was resting on the top of a pile of papers and books, nestled in the crook of my arm. As I walked, I felt the pile slipping and sensed imminent disaster should my phone shatter into a million pieces on the ground. So, I awkwardly: bent slightly at the waist, pulled the phone-holding arm in even closer to my body, and leaned to the right. Basically, it looked like my appendix has just burst, I felt a wave of diarrhea coming on, or that I had a hernia. The only upside to this whole situation is that I did NOT drop my phone. But from far away I looked disturbed.
If I DO drop something, it's a lose-lose. Sure, I don't do some ridiculous-looking move to save my drop victim, but I still drop it. And it's usually something awesome falling into something awful, like the rest of an ice cream cone into sand or an important document into mud.
Where is the middle ground? Can I ever look like a superhero by saving something from falling? Or can I at least look like I've been in this body for more than two minutes? That's all I'm asking for. Just a little dignity.
No comments:
Post a Comment